This morning on NPR, there was a story about a baseball park that was going to offer a hot dog encased in a Twinkie and covered with Cheese Whiz. My immediate thought was that I must have misunderstood. But no, that was it. Hot dog-Twinkie-Cheese Whiz. Three counts and you’re out.
There is something so completely wrong about that combination. Think about it for a minute. The trans fat count alone is enough to put my cholesterol count on a par with Mount St. Helen’s in its most active stage.
I posted this as my status on Facebook this morning, and got more responses than I’ve had in a long time. All were in agreement with me, which renewed my belief that we are not a completely crazy nation. Of course, that might just be an indication of the kind of people I am friends with.
Later today, a friend announced that today is margarita day. I suggested washing down the Twinkie weenie with a maragarita. That brought on a whole new slew of comments including one that suggested perhaps the heart surgeons were behind it. Somehow I think not.
This got me thinking about food, which is not so unusual. I think about food a lot. Frequently. Have you ever noticed the more you think about food, the hungrier you get? It’s true. I was not at all hungry a few minutes ago. Then I saw a photo of my four-year-old niece eating a huge ice cream sundae. My brain somehow suctioned onto that picture and all I can think about is ice cream.
Unfortunately, a quick peek at my snack drawer at work reveals a walnuts, dried cherries, salted soy nuts, crackers, and an apple. No ice cream. No chocolate. Nada.
Why is it we always want what we can’t have? In my case, that usually involves food because there is this silly thing called high cholesterol that controls a lot of what I eat. Or don’t eat. It’s frustrating. The husband can eat all the Gouda and Camembert he wants and his cholesterol just drops. One bite and mine rises 10 points.
On the other hand, it does save me at times. I have a good excuse for turning down things I don’t like…like pie, coconut, cake. Not to mention the aforesaid Twinkie weenies. I hate Twinkies. And processed cheese. Hot dogs? Okay…I love them but don’t eat them anymore unless they’re the veggie versions. But those just don’t quite cut it and somehow I don’t think they’d be any better wrapped in a Twinkie.
It’s a good thing it’s almost 5 p.m. I’m hungry. But trust me…no Twinkies, no hot dogs and no Cheese Whiz. Not tonight.