Eat, pee, poop, sleep


Imagine a life like this. Eat, pee, poop, sleep. Every now and then someone hooks a funny-looking strap to that itchy thing around your neck and off you go for a trot. Back at the house, the couch is empty, just waiting for you to settle in for another snooze.

Such is the dog’s life. Not a worry. No need to go to work five days a week. Frequently, someone pulls you into a lap for a good ear scratching or a belly rub. Ahhhh….and a quiet, unobtrusive dog can settle in under the dinner table, waiting patiently for food items that will certainly be dropped to the floor. An alert dog can be snoozing, yet covertly preparing to nab the nearest crumb — such as Bagel, the miniature poodle, who once grabbed an entire roll out of midair as the clueless diner fumbled it.

After dinner, just as the dog is settling in for his 50th snooze of the day, that dang leash comes out again. Bah. Another walk. Of course, the walk sometimes ends up at the nearby ice cream place where puppy cones come with a dog biscuit perched on top. Little Barky knows better than to object to the walk.

Then there are the frequent trips around town, sitting in the back seat of the car, head out the nearest open window. Ahhh…just feel that fresh, cool air blowing up the nostrils and cooling down the fluffy head. What dog could complain to the joys of car cruising without having to take a turn behind the steering wheel?

Oh sure, there are drawbacks. The lucky dog (i.e., spoiled rotten) gets to sleep in a real bed with a real person, while those whose owners believe in the old-fashioned — but effective — use of a crate. He who sleeps in a crate will not wet the bed. Then there are the in-betweeners — the pooch who gets to sleep with his female owner until the male owner arrives. He stealthily sneaks in — thinking said dog is sound asleep and won’t know what hit him — gently picks up the pooch to transfer him (or her) to a crate down in the dungeon of a basement.

Then there’s that crunchy stuff they call “kibble”. Okay yeah, it’s fun to hear it crunch, but leftover chicken and potatoes is MUCH better. More flavor. And there are the days when someone forgets to fill the water bowl. Not until the little guy follows close at the heels of the nearest human, gazing with obvious pleading, does the dish get filled.

Despite the drawbacks, who wouldn’t envy a dog’s life? To eat, pee, poop and sleep..what could be better?

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