Tag Archives: women

Wait no longer…the men’s room is empty

Have you ever noticed how there is always a long line outside the women’s restroom at public events? We wait. And wait. And wait…while the men zip in and out of their own, with nary a line in sight.

Of course, men translate this to mean that we women are taking our time primping. This is not true. Let’s just say that the mechanics of emptying one’s bladder are more time-consuming for women than for men.

So…yesterday when I discovered yet another line snaking out of the women’s restroom and not a soul outside the adjacent men’s room, I looked at the woman next to me and said, “Cover for me, and I’ll cover for you.”

She grinned and agreed, as several “do-it-by-the-book” souls primly¬† looked on in disbelief. Maybe they don’t have any brothers. Whatever. While they waited another five minutes, we took turns standing guard outside the men’s room and were done in a flash. Several other like-minded women joined us when we discovered there were two stalls.

I’ll admit this isn’t the first time I’ve done this because several years ago, I decided it just wasn’t worth my time or vanity to forgo the use of an empty restroom — as long as I had a willing partner.

Here’s what I’ve noticed about my forays into men’s rooms. For the most part, they’re just as clean as the women’s and besides, germs are germs, right? Last I heard, germs don’t differentiate between genders. So…as long as we wash our hands, all is good.

And if a man happens to walk in on me? Won’t be the first time. I have four brothers who have prepared me well for dealing with such situations.

Grin and bear it.



On little Schnauzers who think they’re BIG DOGS

So…today started out bright and early with a walk with my Mary Ann. Actually, no, make that dark and early. So dark, in fact, we needed my miner’s light. It wasn’t a run, but that’ll come again. Not soon enough.

This time, though, we were accompanied by our two favorite Schnauzers — Ike and Arthur (AKA Sparky). He’s a bit of a sparkplug. Like their “moms”, they’ve been buddies from the start. At 15 pounds, Ike’s at the little end of the mini Schnauzer size scale; Sparky’s at the big end — 25 pounds.

Before we could start, they each had to pester poor, ancient, Peaches the cat. Actually, Sparky had to pester her — Ike’s (kind of) learned his lesson. A few of her swats — claws extended — to the snout will quickly put a stop to that. Oh, and they had to sit still for a photo, which is a bit of a challenge with a phone in the dark. Kinda blurry, but you get the picture.

Mary Ann, Ike and Arthur

We had a moment of panic when Ike’s leash slipped out of Mary’s hand and we both scrambled to grab it before he knew it; otherwise, I might have had to test my running legs before I expected to. Got it!

Walking with the two dogs is really fun except when one decides the grass looks greener on the other side of the leash. We both have to do some fast stepping to avoid being middle-aged women on the ground.

I’m sure some of the neighbors were cursing when one indoor dog sensed the fun outside and set off a cacophany of dog chorus, joined in by about about eight other dogs. At least that rooster that used to wake the neighborhood is no longer around.

Ike and Arthur think they’re big dogs. They don’t know they’re little. Or maybe in their minds all dogs are the same. Who knows what they’re thinking when they spy Rory Stauber and his two horses…excuse me, large dogs. The little guys took one look and thought Rory’s greyhound might be a fun playmate. Might be…but we weren’t prepared to find out that early in the morning.

Here’s the thing about walking with dogs. You have to walk a really LONG time to get anywhere because they have to take a pit stop at every tree and bush in sight. You have to be alert (REALLY alert) — sometimes a challenge at 6 a.m. — because the sight of a squirrel could send both dogs into a tizzy. If they each see several at once, things get dangerous. Leashes get tangled, women get tangled. This is why we do this early in the morning. Few others are around to witness this because we’re the first to admit that we both lean to the klutzy side. Me more than her.

It was a good walk and a great talk. What more could two women want on a lovely Sunday morning?